Hi :)

Hiii! If this is your first time here, welcome welcome! I use this blog as my creative outlet. For years I have struggled with a way I can be authentically me online. I have always felt like I don't quite fit in the box of instagram, Facebook, or other platforms. I feel like a blog gives me the freedom to encompass everything in one place. 

My main goal of sharing personal things on the internet is not so I can cringe years down the road, but maybe help somebody LEARN how to thrive. Because believe it or not, that's something that needs to be learned. At least for me.. And I hope to put out there in to space and create a resource center, so to speak, that's my REAL take on what it took for me to learn to thrive. Because it's tough, damnit. But I feel deeply that everyone has it in them.

I am what you might call your classic over-thinker. I used to think that was a bad thing. Now, I actually like it. It's kind of a superpower now. But it took time for me to dial down my perfectionism (which, it is hard being a perfectionist!) and become a well balanced individual. 

I had severe doomsday (as I call it) anxiety and social anxiety. Now it's dialed WAY back, and I can actually talk to an acquaintance without panicking beforehand. And I can actually see my husband walk out the door without thinking, "That might be the last time I see him." I still feel anxious from time to time and the potency varies, but I believe most people can learn what I did that tremendously helped me. Part of it is learning how to respect yourself. 

I was depressed for years. Part of that time I did not know I was depressed, part of it I did and didn't know what to do. Depression sucks ass (and not the good kind). I gained 45 lbs! Yuck. In 2024, I lost 30lbs and learned how to eat and how simple it actually is (not saying it wasn't challenging). 

That's another one of my goals with this blog. Is to splain in terms (at least that I was able to understand) what to do and how to lose weight. It's not more exercise like a lot of people think. To oversimplify, it has everything to do with diet. And it turns out, it's 99% MENTAL GROWTH than physical growth. I know.. ew. But, my friends, that's how we thrive. 

I learned how to overcome the challenges that come with losing weight like social events (literally doing anything other than sitting at home was a challenge to stay on track), feeling like I should not eat to make up for last night's "mistakes," feeling hopeless that the number on the scale isn't going down, wondering why the f*** I'm putting myself through all this shit when "it doesn't matter" or "it won't make a difference," working out to make up for food I ate, starving myself because I start tracking what I'm eating and I don't want to write it down, eating over my calorie goal for 3 days in a row and crying because I'm hopeless and I'll never lose weight, bingeing on snacks and treats because I was fed up and couldn't help myself, knowing that I shouldn't eat this or that but I do anyways and in insane excess, trying diet after diet like noom, paleo, whole30 and "failing" each time. 

Does any of this sound familiar? Guess what, starting and not knowing anything is the worst part.  I'm telling you it's possible to learn how to successfully lose weight (without a "no" list) and it's possible to eventually be confident in the steps you're taking. But it takes work. It's a skill. Any skill is learned. I had the help of my husband, and I couldn't have done it so successfully and so quickly without him. And that is another inspiration for this blog.. It's SO simple.. yet SO challenging because it's f***ing hard to not let instant gratification win (because of things like.. anxiety, lack of discipline, lack of self respect, not following what makes you feel best) BUT also because of the lack of education around the simplicity. Like many people have said.. the fitness/health industry is looking for profit. They are interested in sales, not you. I believe with everything in me that if simplicity, balance, and mindset were advertised as much as every fad, we would have a WAY healthier America. I do believe more people are catching on, so I'm throwing my voice in the mix to strengthen the message.

My hope for this blog is to be an inspiration to people and help them believe in themselves. I think that everyone has it in them to thrive and be the best they can be. But I feel what's lacking is the REALNESS it actually takes to do that! So that's why you'll notice my tone throughout my blog is very casual. Very real. And very honest. It's how I speak to people and how I think. These are my thoughts out here in the online space in hopes that I can be part of the upward trend of realistic, critical thinking, badass, self respecting, thriving individuals spreading hope and confidence. 

To get you started, below is a compilation of my favs from a wide variety of platforms. A lot of what I know and what works for me has already been explained 100 times over on the internet. I'd rather give those people credit who have positively influenced me instead of pretending like I magically came up with this all on my own. This is part of the realness of this blog. It's not rocket science. Anyone can do this.

Insta:

@makayla_thomas_fit - okay, when I tell you her recipes are the reason I lost those 30lbs in 2024, it would not be far from the truth. Making fun, delicious, and easy food is key to staying consistent. She's a godsend. I have two of her digital cookbooks.

@scaseyfitness - You may have heard of Sean Casey and his Glean App. While I'm not subscribed to his app, I believe wholeheartedly in his message and his approach to fitness and food. He has a realistic and empathetic approach to weight loss (and life itself).

@myjourneytojustlive - Michelle calls herself an Incurable Cancer Thriver. She doesn't know if she'll live long enough to see her kids graduate high school. Her Instagram is a public journal of sorts that's very raw and very real. She's decided that she's not going to let cancer define who she is and instead, live her life and thrive regardless of her diagnosis - for herself and her kids. And she would probably agree with me that I could word that as "because of her diagnosis." While cancer sucks ass, it has a way of showing people what they are truly living for (or what we want to live for) and just how capable they are. I've taken a lot from her and been inspired by her for years. I wish her the best and hope there is a cure for her one day.

@thereseocallaghan - T started her own coaching business after losing a ton of weight and keeping it off. Her success comes from realistic goals and a better relationship with food. She's another example of anyone can "crack the code" and figure out how to have sustainable habits that help you become the best version of you. 

Books:

A Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Fankl - Viktor is a holocaust survivor. Yeah, it's as brutal as your wildest imagination. Viktor was a psychiatrist and neurologist before being deported to his first out of four camps. With his predisposition of psychology, he was able to form the psychological progression for people in the camps in to words that have inspired millions across the globe. The holocaust was such a thing that ripped away everything from an individual and showed what's left of a human being. 

Inner Excellence by Jim Murphy - watching football one day they showed a player on the sidelines reading this book in between his time out on the field. And earlier before the game started, a man was holding up the book as he was carrying the American flag after they had stretched it over the field. "Damn, that must be a pretty good book." I thought. Yeah, it is. While the book was originally geared towards athletes and executives, the principles apply to everyone. It talks about how to get out of your own way, and follow a path towards success (which looks different for everyone).

My Instagram:

@helloitsciara